"If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse.

Besides working with Ace, my life consists of a full-time job, taking care of the horses (my barn currently has three of my own and three boarders), planning a wedding, taking care of the house, and any number of other things I have going on at any one time.

I am busy. I don't have an active social life because there is no time, and if the boy and I didn't live together I would never see him.

I have to remind myself of this quote often. Sometimes several times a week. Sometimes several times a day.

I get home, I'm tired, I have a thousand other things to do. It's so easy to say, "It's too hot." or "Ace seems off today." or "I have to get this laundy done/bathroom clean/dishes put away."

But I repeat that quote, over and over and over, and I change my clothes and go outside and work with Ace. I take 90 minutes out of my day to groom him and lunge him and ride him.

And you know what? There has never been a day when I regretted it. When I came back in and said, "Damn! I really wish I had done these dishes earlier rather than working with Ace."

Because my work shows. When he gets worked four days a week, our progress is phenomenal. It's mind-blowing. I'm not working with the same horse I had a year ago. I'm working with a smart, wonderful, loyal gelding who wants nothing more than to do right by me. Ace enjoys working. He sees me coming and nickers to me and shoves his face into the halter.

I realized yesterday that this was important to share, because I'm sure everyone has those days when it's easy to be "too busy." Yesterday was one of those days for me. I literally repeated, "If not, you will find an excuse." outloud to myself as I dragged myself to the barn.

But, within an hour, I was riding Ace. And not just riding- we were trotting around the round pen practicing half-halts. All on our own. Without Michelle, without a lunge line "just in case." Just the two of us working. And he was PERFECT. So perfect. And I realized in that moment, that his perfection was SO worth me working with him even though I didn't really want to.

Life shouldn't be about making excuses. Life should be about making decisions.

I am making the decision that I am going to turn Ace into the incredible horse I know he can be. And sometimes that decision means not making excuses.

Another Fabulous Lesson!

Ace is coming along so wonderfully. He is starting to build muscle, he is learning how his body really moves, he is learning that saddles will not eat him.

I like to think that I am coming along just as wonderfully. I'm learning more and more about how to ask him to move from the ground so that I can understand how to ask from his back. But, most importantly, I'm learning that "Old Ace" responded with fear because of pain while "New Ace" is sometimes just cranky or sore from all this work he is doing now. I over-think it because of his history. Really, he's just a horse. And I need to remember that. This was of course pointed out to me by Michelle who doesn't let me get away with any more silliness than she allows Ace.

It's nice to gain outside perspective. And it leads to fabulous lessons!

Ace used his brain, I used my brain, and then I rode him at a walk and trot further from Michelle on the rope than we have done before. Next week we're going to go even further from her- and maybe (maybe!) even come off of the rope and go solo.

To say I'm very excited is an understatement.

In related news, it felt SO GOOD to be on MY OWN horse again!

My first trainer said to me once, when my ten-year old self was amazed as she swung up onto a little mustang in training bareback on her 50th birthday, "Your body never forgets. It's like riding a bike. Once you know how to ride a horse- it all comes rushing back as soon as you settle into the saddle."

She was very, very right.

"The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Ace and I are headed in the right direction, we're just moving slowly.

Slowly because I'm learning and Ace is re-learning, but it's ok that it's slow because as a horsewoman I am on this incredible journey and there is no horse I would rather be on it with than Ace.

He and I had an incredible lesson yesterday. He never reached his breaking point and had a melt down (what I call his sudden flashbacks of fear or frsutration). He was being forced to think, which I know frustrates him sometimes, but he trusted us that it was ok that he didn't quite "get it" yet. He is finally understanding that it's ok if he doesn't ever "get-it" the first time- he will get it eventually. And when he does, he is so proud of himself! Once something "clicks" there is praise and carrots and he chews and perks his ears and knows that he is awesome.

I rode him at a walk and a trot like it was no big deal, teaching him about half-halts and giving to the bit rather than fighting against it. We had a few totally-wrongs, a lot of almosts, and a handful of perfects. We made progress everything was a postitive experience.

Days like yesterday keep me going. But, what also keeps me motivated are little things I find online about him. Like this tidbit, from one endurance rider to another on a message board, warning not to buy him sometime before I got him:

"Because he's nutso. He is bay with 4 whites like that one, and he's been passed from home to home, injuring people as he goes."

Ace has quite the reputation on the small Southeast US endurance racing scene and it is what drives me. It's why I started this blog, it's why I decided to keep him rather than sell him, it's why my fiance and I scrounge up enough money for lessons every week with Michelle, and it's why I keep trying with him- on the good days and the bad.

Because Ace is not naturally, "nutso." People made him that way. And I am determined to undo what so many others have created.

I have no idea what direction Ace and I are headed in. I don't know where our slow road is going. But, it would bring me immense joy if it happened to take us to an endurance race in Georgia someday competing against people who claim Ace is "nutso."